Dating for cancer patients
It seems that after cancer men and women who are not able to either have erections or who are not interested in sex, are willing to do it if a potential partner wants it—or if they assume that a potential partner wants it.
They seem to be making assumptions about what someone they don’t even know may want, and they are willing to compromise their own desires for the sake of establishing a relationship.
Cancer treatment can leave scars, impact mood, decrease desire, and alter sexual function, leaving you feeling insecure and uncomfortable with your body.
Some people want to discuss their cancer right away because they feel it’s an important factor shaping who they are.
Others tend to bring it up almost as a defense mechanism — a test to make sure the other person can handle it so they can avoid being hurt later on, Ms.
What if the desire for sex or a platonic relationship were two items on the profile list of a dating website? One of the saddest stories I have heard in this realm was that of an 87-year-old man who lived in a nursing home. For many, beyond the acute loss of a life partner, lies years of loneliness or at least alone-ness.
If I were running a matchmaking service for this population, those would be important questions to respond to and would be on the profile of everyone who joined . He came to see me, asking for something to help him have an erection (he had multi-modality treatment for recurrent prostate cancer so options that might help were limited). It sounds a bit like high school with gossip and innuendo, and, as a consequence, hurt feelings and bruised self-esteem and lots of lonely people who are not part of the A-list . Adult children and grandchildren often live many miles away, and the opportunities for a hug are few and far between.
Each person also has his or her own individual comfort level when discussing the disease.