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The usual tropes of criminal, gangster rapper, absent father and womaniser belies the existence of men who are well-rounded and have a lot to offer.
Across the board, including in porn, black bodies are only seen as valuable when something can be obtained from them (such as realising a fantasy) – and this is reflected in my experiences on dating apps.
Apps such as Grindr, although I do use others too, often result in the assassination of my personal character – because I’m seen as a sexual object and a thing, not a human being.
This is something we and other BAME people still experience today – regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity – but it’s more nuanced, which makes it harder to call out and white people are reluctant to believe our stories.This kind of behaviour causes silent suffering for black men and women; we underestimate the effect it can have on mental health.So next time you want to talk about someone’s imaginary big black c**k, remember that this person is more than a body part, and that what you say could be eating away at their sense of who they are.Today, the commodification of black people takes place through two avenues; on the one hand a desire and love for our culture and on the other, a form of hatred – portrayed in how black people are treated in society.The ways in which black men are represented seldom offers variety.
Black men are multifaceted, not a monolith – and it’s about time society got the memo.